Rating: 1/5…Unless, Can I give zero?
Why I chose the book: The masochist that I am often likes to read about other people’s dating trials and tribulations perhaps in search of some solace of the “it gets better” variety.
What I expected: From the title I thought this was going to be a story about a man that learns how to commit. Because maybe he doesn’t know how to “date” women and only “hangs out” with them. Because maybe I was projecting a bit due to the epidemic of men I have encountered in my modern search for love.
What I was promised: A humorous tale of awkwardness.
What I got: NOT ONE SINGLE LAUGH.
In fact, I found this book to be offensive. This was a classic case of “Nice Guy Syndrome” where the main character (can you still call them “characters” when it’s a true life memoir?) recaps every girl from age 13 to 25 he had encountered that wouldn’t be his “girlfriend”. At times I questioned if the author had some degree of Asperger’s Syndrome and by no means am I making fun of this condition. It just seemed like the only explanation for the one-dimensional portrayal of every single person in the book, including himself. Every girl was “beautiful”. That’s all. Or at least that’s all according to the book. There was never any talk about the deep emotional and intellectual connection he had with any female. Case after case it was ‘See pretty girl. Try to make her my girlfriend.’ with the exception of one young lady that he immediately introduced as Stella the Stalker. She was the only instance (until the end of the book when he gets his crackerjack prize) of a girl who was interested in him and because he wasn’t attracted to her every awkward advancement she made was described in disgust. At the end of that chapter, he admits that her tactics were not unlike his creepy antics to get a girl, but because he wasn’t interested in her that made all the difference. Having listened to the audio version of this book narrated by the author, I did not get one once of remorse for how he treated this young lady. There was no genuine lesson he learned from that experience and it was a desperate act of shaming this poor girl.
I listened to the end because A) see above about being a masochist and B) I really hoped for the author to come to some kind of revelation. While he did finally admit he was insecure of his missing limb (oh, did I not mention that? Because it’s really not relevant.) he never saw the bigger picture. Girls aren’t rejecting you because you have one leg. They are rejecting you because you have a lack of personality (admittedly an informed opinion based on how this book was written). Women are people. They have thoughts, feelings, interests, etc. While physical attraction is important in a romantic relationship, even more important is compatibility.
There! I can’t believe got through all that without one single curse word. Taking a day to settle my nerves really helped.