A Coming of Gender Story


I finished reading this last night and thought I should share with you all what I posted on my social media about it:


For anyone questioning their gender and fighting against the binary, this is such an important read by @jacobtobia


I love that this book is framed as a โ€œcoming of gender storyโ€ with emphasis that EVERYONE has a coming of gender story, including cishetero people. For myself, I struggle with identifying as โ€œqueerโ€, but I definitely question the confines of gender in my personal identity and my art and I advocate that is a perfectly healthy and necessary thing to do. I donโ€™t identify as queer because I still feel โ€œmostly femaleโ€, which is the definition I answer with when given an open-ended questionnaire. I donโ€™t feel like a man, but embrace masculine energy. I donโ€™t feel like both or neither as far as the gender binary is concerned. I want to acknowledge my privilege on the spectrum as a mostly cishetero monogamist female and at the moment labeling myself queer doesnโ€™t quite feel just. Reading Jacobโ€™s story was funny, at times heartbreaking, at times beautiful, and honestly really helped me to understand that gender nonconforming people donโ€™t need to be at odds with religion (Christianity specifically). It was a wonderful reminder that life is a journey and gender identity is as well.


#sissy #acomingofgenderstory #gendernonconforming #jacobtobia #readinglist #bookclub #library #libbyapp #queer #notquitequeer #mostlyfemale #stridentfeminist

7 comments on “A Coming of Gender Story”

  1. This sounds like something everyone should read! Thank you for bringing this book to my attention– I hadn’t heard of it, but agree and enjoy the idea of ‘coming of gender’ for everyone–

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Agreed! But then I recall how many closed minded people too fearful to even think of their gender as fluid, too fragile about their masculinity, too busy propping up the patriarchy with skewed ideas of “femininity”, for those I would think this book would only encourage them to rally back, re-affirming the gender binary.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I too think the idea of “coming of gender” is thought provoking. Thanks for the review. I wish there were time to read every book posted on this blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Again, much to ponder, Daniela. Thank you. I suspect, if we all think back on our lives we will find a humm of understanding in this idea.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Daniela, are you familiar with Gertrude Stein’s masterwork, Tender Buttons? Your comments spurred me to pull it off my shelf and read again the first prose poem, which is titled A CARAFE, THAT IS A BLIND GLASS and goes like this:

    “A kind in glass and a cousin, a spectacle and nothing strange a single hurt color and an arrangement in a system to pointing. All this and not ordinary, not unordered in not resembling. The difference is spreading.”

    Thanks for pointing me toward another angle on this CARAFE.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I loved your review, Daniela, and read Sissy. I just reread it so I could lead a book discussion in my LGBTQ+ bookclub. The meeting was today, and everyone loved the book. We went overtime, and the book is so rich, we could have continued our conversation far into the evening. There is so much to think about, and the book is also so much fun. Thanks, Daniela, for the recommendation. I will keep my eye out for more from Jacob Tobia.

    Liked by 1 person

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